When marriages fail
0 Comments | Buffalo News, May 21, 2009
Consider it one of the enduring inanities of Albany: The New York State Legislature appears to be on the verge of approving same-sex marriage but still won’t budge on the matter of divorce. This state is in the forefront of the fight to allow gays and lesbians to marry, but won’t let anyone end a marriage without first being mauled by the state’s antiquated and punitive — and expensive — divorce laws.
New York is the only state without a no-fault divorce system. To end a marriage here, either both parties must agree, and submit to a one-year separation, or one must accuse the other of cruel and inhuman treatment, adultery or, conversely, refusal to have sex for a year. The frequent results are prolonged proceedings, heightened animosity and, worst of all, children forced to choose sides as the angry process unfolds.
In fact, a New Yorker who no longer loves his or her spouse can be held hostage to a bad marriage if the other partner refuses to take the separation route. It happens.
The reasons New York clings to this terrible system are multiple. The Catholic Church opposes the change, as does the New York Chapter of the National Organization for Women. And, while some divorce lawyers are aggressively pushing for no-fault laws, the fact is that the current system fattens their bank accounts.
The State Legislature has long been beholden to the New York Trial Lawyers Association, and Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver is, himself, a member of a New York City personal injury law firm. New York State laws are very kind to lawyers.
We understand the church’s objections; it has a legitimate point of view: A marriage is not a handshake deal. It’s meant to be a solemn commitment. But the church also opposes gay marriage and that isn’t stopping legislators from acting.
Sometimes marriages are mistaken. People grow apart. Yes, it’s possible that strict divorce laws can push partners to bridge their differences, but they can also impoverish them or force them to stay in a marriage of misery. There are better ways, and 49 other states offer possibilities.
We hold no illusions about this
new york no fault divorce